A time to reflect...

Heartfelt, personal posts aren't something I normally write but I have reached a point where I strongly feel the desire to put my feelings into writing.

You will have seen my time on this blog has been, well, rather limited. Up until 4/5 months ago, I dedicated a lot of my time to building it -  it was a hobby of mine but has become one I have failed to upkeep. I have been feeling guilty for this the last couple of months in particular but in the space of a few weeks, I have assessed and evaluated my life in greater detail and have come to the resolution that I, in fact, should not feel bad for this.

We all face times in our life where we feel unsure. This could result in lack of satisfaction, confusion and even unhappiness over certain areas of your life. For me, all three of these emotions combine how I have been feeling about the professional side to my life and over time, I have found my stresses and dismay has subconsciously leaked into the personal side too.

I won't go into details about my profession, job or career ambitions as this is not what this post (or blog) is for. What I will go into detail about is how easily demotivation in one area of your life can quickly cloud over other parts. 

Sport is my passion and I live and breathe it outside working hours. Feeling fit and looking healthy is an absolute importance to me. Yet, I have found my interest in this has deceased the last month or so. Instead of looking forward to a swim, or a run, I have struggled to find the motivation to go out and do it. I still have gone but not really ever fulfilled each training session. I've stopped all forms of speed and strength building and seeked solace is 'casual exercise'. I run at a pace that feels comfortable at the time, I head to the pool and just swim 1200m and then get out. My cycling is practically non existent, including using my bike for my commute and I barely find the motivation to do any core workouts at home. What has also baffled me is how achey and tired I feel from any form of exercise I carry out. Six months ago, I trained hard five times a week. Now I scrape three times at a much lower effort and feel 10 times worse!

This is totally abnormal for me and I have felt rather worried about my general interest and energy towards exercise. My training plans are smothered in red crosses when I have just come home from work and thought 'I can't be arsed' and just skipped the session. Instead, I have headed for the booze shelf, poured a large G&T and slobbed on the sofa in my PJs. Attractive huh?

It wasn't until about a month ago when I realised my unhappiness stemmed from my work. It was this part of my life I really struggled with and felt completely exhausted from. My mind was fried and it was sending signals to my body to feel the same. Whilst I have gained success and promotion through my current role which I am incredibly proud of, I was also incredibly tired and overwhelmed from it and it was taking over my life outside of working hours too. I blame no one for this, sometimes this is just the way work can be, however it is only down to me to make the decision to continue with the struggle, or find something more suited to my current position. 

I came to the decision that this will not be the way to lead my life. Whilst I am ambitious in my career, I also greatly aspire to a healthy and happy life outside of work. I have finally learnt the importance of a balanced lifestyle. Working success and money, for me, will not be the pinnacle of my happiness. I have many friends who earn a lot more than me and are unbelievable hard working for it. I greatly admire their determination. Yet on the flipside, I also have friends who earn less than me and are also very happy and content with their lives too. Truth is - as long as you have a secure job that you love and a healthy income to lead a happy life, you are a winner. 

So with this realisation in mind, I decided to take on a new adventure in my career and was very fortunate to land a very exciting new job. Again, I won't go into details but it is a role I am very excited to start. I am also confident that it will allow me to believe in myself again in and outside of work which is what I greatly desire right now. 

I guess what I am trying to say with this post is that sometimes life doesn't go the way it should go. You try to control everything, take on too much and sometimes you can't govern what will happen.  We are only human after all. 

Despite not knowing where life will take you, there are things that you can change for yourself, but it is important to not dwell on the past. So what if I have lost my running mojo. So what that I have gained weight and so what that I have felt so low. Now is the time for me to hold my head high and make amends myself. My new profession will only be the start of this and I will make it my mission to reignite my fitness and love for sport again, not to mention dedicating time to bring it to life on this blog. :) 

Lipstick Runner. 

How running has changed me

(it's made me feel THIS happy!)

Yes that's right, here comes a deep and meaningful life post. I haven't done one yet and now I am settled into my blogging journey, I felt it was time to share in full detail how I became a fitness addict.

For those of you that read my debut post (and for those who haven't you can find it HERE), you'll be aware that I have dabbled in and our of sport pretty much my whole life. At times it has been an intense and big part of my life but in other periods it has been a very small part.

Finding my running 'mojo'.

My true love and appreciation for health and fitness came into action during my last year at University. Studying journalism and with my dissertation focussing on writing a health & fitness magazine for plus 50 women, I spent the whole year buried deep in books and websites all about fitness and healthy living. It was here that I realised I'd truly lost my 'running bug' I had during my teens and I decided I needed to find it again.

After graduation, I made sure I ran once, maybe twice a week. It was normally around 3/4 miles and it nearly always killed me. Despite this decision to take up running again, it took yet another year before I really got stuck into it and found my fitness groove. I think the fact that I moved to London, got my first proper job and was finally settled that I plucked up the courage to join a local running club. After all, I was new to the city and I needed to make friends!

I opted for a running club close to home and one that didn't look too serious. There are some with a whopping base of members that compete in all sorts of leagues. That was not what I was after. I wanted a social group that I could share this common interest with and simply enjoy it. Going along to the first session, I was so nervous. Entering a leisure centre with 100 or so runners mingling in the lobby is rather daunting. That said though, a Captain approached me (she must have sensed I was a newbie) and advised I head off in the 'gentle joggers' group. After a glorious run around Regent's Park with fellow newbies I was dead set on returning. Two and half years later, I remain at the club and have even become part of the committee, volunteering in my own time to club admin and marshalling at races. I have also gained a bunch of close friends, discovered a whole new level of energy within me and even found the confidence to take on challenges I never thought I would be able to achieve.

Ready, set, GO!

Being part of the running club meant there was plenty of inspiration around me. With fellow runners racing marathons, half marathons, cross country leagues and much more, I wanted to join the 'training clan' properly and decided to enter a half marathon. I chose Reading Half Marathon and gave myself around eight months to train. With training buddies and a club coach surrounding me and a sub two hour target time, I worked my socks off taking on several challenges in the build up to the big race. From locally organised 10Ks to even dipping my toe in cross country (and realising quickly I didn't like it), by the time I got to the start line of Reading I was just so proud of myself to even be at the stage of wanting to run a half marathon. I remember it being a very cold, wet day but my family and friends trooped out to cheer me on throughout the course to see me finish in a time of 1.47 - 13 minutes faster than I was aiming for.

(the finishing streak of Reading Half Marathon 2013)

As you can imagine I was chuffed to pieces with this achievement. To this day, I can still remember the feeling I had when I crossed the finish line. It was a tad emotional for me. Never had a ran that far and to smash out a time like that, well, I was shocked!

Since this remarkable journey of mine, I have gone onto complete two more half marathons, three 10 mile races, a 24 hour relay race and several 10K and 5K to reach the below PBs which I am continuing to improve as my running strength and experience evolves:

Half Marathon - 1.45.30

10 Miles - 1.18.02

10K - 45.45

5K - 21.58

Improved lifestyle.

Keeping fit doesn't just do wonders for your body. It greatly improves all aspects of your life. When I moved to London, I moved in with my boyfriend and a couple of his uni friends. We dived into stressful graduate jobs and quickly slipped into the robotic routine of get up, work, come home, eat, sleep. We had no energy to give time to one another, to go out and explore, head out on dates. Looking back on it now, I get really frustrated with myself.

After a few months of being at the club, my energy levels soared. Despite using more energy running, I felt 10 times better for it. Running has also given me more motivation. No longer do I spend my weekend laying in bed til midday. Now an early riser naturally, I am up and raring to go. Myself and my boyfriend (who is now my fiancé) spend quality time together, we sometimes even train together (he too has developed a love for exercise) and our relationship has never been better. In fact, I think it is these hobbies we have that help keep us going. We can share this common ground and enjoy it together.

Along with my social life and relationship, running has had an impact on my physique. By all means, I am no skinny bean. I have always been strong and curvaceous but what running has helped me to achieve is a strong, athletic body. I am toned and healthy. Being so sporty has also helped me to accept parts of my body I once despised and saw as flaws. My large arms used to bring me down. Now they are a power house to help push me through sprint finishes and hold up a plank position. My legs, appropriately nicked-named 'thunder thighs' are my pins of steel for running, cycling and swimming. These are parts of my body I am now proud of and that itself, I feel, is a huge achievement.

( left: 2011, right: 2014)

Setting the challenge

In the last year, I have been more motivated than ever before to set myself challenges that are totally out of my comfort zone. Hungry for new plans and projects, I have gone on to complete my first ever 24 hour relay race, working in a team of eight to continuously run a five mile course for a whole day. Once upon a time, I would of turned my nose up at heading out at 2am, head torch strapped across my head and running through the woods as if it was the most ridiculous idea. What it actually turned out to be was an incredible moment in my life. The team morale I experienced on that night run and all the fantastic, inspirational people I met running around the course was brilliant and the sense of achievement at the end was totally worth the aches and pains that followed after.

What I have also noticed in my attitude towards sport is my curiosity to give things a go. For a good year now, I have debated whether or not to give triathlon a go and last month, I took the plunge and thought, "sod it! I bloody will do it!". Because, why not? With the sprint distance on the horizon, I am now training my body to take on swimming, cycling and running to eventually do them all in a row. To some, this may sound tortuous but to me, it's a huge buzz of excitement.

In all, looking back at the person I was four years ago (taking into account appearance, happiness and personality) to the person I am now, I was say there is a huge difference. Gone is the de-motivation, short temper, frustration and tiredness and I feel totally confident to say these traits have been diminished through sport. What I am now (or at least what I think I am - I hope others would agree!) is an upbeat, positive minded individual with patience and self discipline. All of which has been achieved through lacing up a pair of trainers and heading out the door.

To conclude this, I guess it's fair to say that the best things in life really are free.

Lipstick Runner.